


Through The Eyes Of T'Pol

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-27
Updated: 2006-03-26
Packaged: 2018-08-16 07:28:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8093437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Season 1 drabble posteps. (2001-2002)





	1. Reassignment (1.01-1.02 "Broken Bow")

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: 3rd place, 2002 ASCEM GO award, Best Series/Suite  


* * *

My assignmentâ€”advisor to Soval. My dutiesâ€”investigate the Human's scientific achievements, and use this knowledge to aide Soval. But advisor became liaison, and everything changed. I became a buffer for complaintsâ€”the daily barrage of emotional outbursts diminishing my ability to shield.

In my mental fatigue I contemplated reassignment...just not this. As 'observer' on ENTERPRISE, escaping the emotional barrage, or the illogical behavior, will not be an option. Archer is a fool, but I cannot persuade him to give up. I will do my duty, and nothing more...then go home to Vulcan.


	2. Decontamination (1.01-1.02 "Broken Bow")

Illogical...Inefficient...this procedure was decidedly distasteful.

Then there was Tucker...I had seen that look before, and did not care to experience the thoughts that would accompany it, but the physical contact was unavoidable under the circumstances. I reinforced my shields, and endured his touch, non-reactive until the unexpected contact with my ears made me lose my concentration. I flinched in anticipation of the sexual overtones his manner suggested...but they were not there. He was focused solely on the mission, and how we could succeed, despite our current situation. 

Surprised, I listened to his proposal.


	3. Resolve (1.03 "Fight Or Flight")

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: _arie'mnu_ is a Vulcan word meaning "passion's mastery."

  
Author's notes: Note: _arie'mnu_ is a Vulcan word meaning "passion's mastery."  


* * *

I find my situation difficult, but tolerable. I am becoming accustomed to the barrage of emotions. I do not share their enthusiasm, but understand it, to a degree. 

I am perplexed, however, by Hoshi Sato. Her skill is beyond anything I have experienced, yet her fear of the unknown nearly cripples her. She could very well be a liability instead of an asset in a first contact situation.

Since the captain is refusing her request to return home, I must do what I can to teach her _arie'mnu_...if not for herself, then for the safety of the crew.


	4. When Will They Learn? (1.04 "Strange New World)

Enthusiasm is one thing, but without prudence, it can be deadly. If I were of a paranoid nature, I would suspect them of intentionally disregarding my advice, fulfilling some obscure need to prove they require no guidance.

How can I convince them that I have their best interest in mind? Had they sent probes and observed the planet for a day or two, the near tragedy of this expedition could have been avoided.

You know, there is an old Earth saying, "I told you so." If I were human...but then I'm not, which is, I suppose, the problem.


	5. False Assumptions (1.05 "Unexpected")

Apparently Mr. Tucker, in his hormone-induced-paranoia, believes the conversations in the messhall are about him, and his condition...and that I'm responsible. I would have thought that by now, he would have acquired a small amount of trust in me, but apparently not.

But then, the same could be said about myself, and the assumption I made as the doctor announced his diagnosis. Of course, I was not alone in my assumption...even the captain, who has known Tucker for years, assumed the worst.

Odd how he is forgiven his assumption, yet I remain suspect because of mine.


	6. Need To Know (1.06 "Terra Nova")

Human motivation is a difficult concept for me.

Take the situation on Terra Nova, for example. A lost colony...a mystery...one of the hazards of colonization. Yet these humans display an uncanny need to solve such mysteries. This compulsion...this 'need to know'...seems to be a major part of their collective personality.

I admit, Mr. Mayweather's enthusiasm was a bit contagious. I found myself caught up in the search for answers...for an explanation of the mystery here. This isn't logical, however. It isn't the Vulcan way.

But I wonder...how many Vulcan expeditions have met similar fates?


	7. Trust And Betrayal (1.07 "The Andorian Incident")

For the first time, I feel more 'one' with this human crew than with my own people.

I had been reluctant to visit the monastery, fearing the human's disrespect for our traditions. The captain persisted, however, but we were asked to leave. I did not question, although I should have seen the signs of disarray. It was nearly our undoing.

If I were to admit to feeling emotion, I would say that I was irritated by the captain questioning my loyalty. I never expected it to be put to such a test, nor did I expect to feel such betrayal.


	8. Decisions Of The Heart (1.08 "Breaking The Ice")

My family did not understand when I chose to go to Earth...even less when I chose to stay aboard ENTERPRISE. I fear this latest decision has completely baffled them, they will never forgive me for it.

I spent my youth doing what tradition dictated. I had intended to continue, or so I told myself. But Tucker was correct, had I planned to follow tradition, I would never have asked his advice. Regardless of the difficulties I have faced daily living among the humans, I have come to appreciate the experience, and comradery.

I must thank him for the pie.


	9. Perplexed (1.09 "Civilization")

Humans, I find them quite perplexing. One day, their disregard for proper protocol will be their undoing. Of course, once again their actions have proven beneficial to the population. Had they followed my advice, disease and death would have ensued. I must consider this in future.

There is also the matter between Tucker and myself. I cannot fathom him. One minute he is all sarcasm, the next, solicitous. But in the final analysis, he is incapable of accepting me as his superior officer. His behavior was unprofessional, bordering on insubordination. Yet he is the Captain's friend; his actions go unpunished.


	10. Insight, Or Pride Goeth Before A Fall (1.10 "Fortunate Son")

Lack of trust and acceptance of help; I always thought the Captain's attitude toward my people in this regard was because they were Vulcan, however, I found Mister Ryan's attitude toward accepting our help to be just the same. I see now that this human pride is endemic to the species, and has nothing much to do with the Human-Vulcan equation.

I also found the captain's tactics of coercion to be quite fascinating. Unfortunately, instead of cooperation, they led us into a trap. Once again, pride was the motivating factor. In that, I think Vulcans and Humans are much alike.


	11. Time, The Uncharted Territory (1.11 "Cold Front")

Time travel...is it a possibility? It would explain a great deal, yet there is no substantial evidence to back up such a theory. Daniels could have just as easily been of another alien race, and like the Suliban, have ulterior motives for his actions.

But if it is true, whom should we have helped? Did we alter the future by our actions, or prevent it from being altered? Will we ever truly know? And what is to prevent future tampering, or past? For once, I have no opinion to share, nor advice to give. This is truly uncharted territory.


	12. Determination (1.12 "Silent Enemy")

Fear...Anger...Pride...all spark a determination to succeed. Yet these same emotions may cause one to question ones actions.

The Captain's order to return to Earth for assistance, although prudent, was quite unexpected. Misters Tucker and Reed reacted to this situation as I had come to expect, with dogged determination to once again prove their self-reliance.

Pride in ones abilities, and the safety of the crew, are strong motives for such a display of determination...yet the Captain's search for Reed's favorite food was met with the same level of determination.

I am at a loss as to why.


	13. Personal Growth (1.13 "Dear Doctor" 1)

Captain Archer surprised me today. His decision to withhold warp technology, and the 'cure' for what is in essence the natural evolutionary course of this planet, shows his growing understanding of the ethics involved in space exploration.

The fact that he also asked for my advice, and accepted it without argument, shows exactly how much he has grown as a commander in these past few months. I find myself gaining respect for him, not only as my commanding officer, but as a friend...just as he, by his own admission, appears to be gaining respect for me, and my people.


	14. Advice (1.13 "Dear Doctor" 2)

How odd, the Doctor asking my advice. But there I was, being asked if I knew if Humans engaged in interspecies relationships. I would hardly call myself an expert on the subject.

I do not know if I helped, or not. In expressing my view that this may just be a phaseâ€”an expression of curiosity on the part of the crewpersonâ€”I believe I have provided all the advice I can on the subject.

The fact that the Doctor's interest in this relationship may be no different did not occur to me until I was well away from sickbay.


	15. The New, Improved, Hoshi Sato (1.14 "Sleeping Dogs")

When I asked the Captain to include Hoshi in the boarding party, I did so reluctantly. I knew we may need her translation skills, but I did not trust that she would be able to handle a situation that was very reminiscent of her first away mission. The similarities were too great.

But then the Captain told me that she had volunteered. And when I saw how well she comported yourself, I was impressed. She did quite well, considering the conditions we were faced with.

With a bit more guidance and training in the mind rules, she will be invincible.


	16. Reassignment 2 (1.15 "Shadows Of P'Jem")

I was speechless, numb with shock, yet I forced my expression to remain neutral. The captain took my outward calm as a sign of disinterest. His determination to clear my name, and prevent my reassignment added to my inner turmoil.

I could have lodged a protest myself, yet I did not. Such action would have been highly illogical, adding to their justification for reassignment to Vulcan.

Six months ago, I would have welcomed reassignment, regardless of the reasons behind it. However today, as I lie here in sickbay, I realize I do not wish to go. *This* is my home.


	17. Shuttlepod OneâEpilog (1.16 "Shuttlepod One")

Mr. Reed called to me, as I left sickbay. His expression, and his question, made no sense. I took my leave, concerned for his well being. I mentioned this to the Doctor, who assured me that the hypothermia, combined with their blood-alcohol level, were bound to cause a bit of disorientation. They would both recover fully.

The morning briefing was held over breakfast, and I was pleased to note that the Doctor was correct. When they finished their report, I looked at Archer, for I believe we have found the empirical evidence that there are, indeed, micro-singularities in the area.


	18. Con-fusion (1.17 "Fusion")

As the captain left, I admitted to feeling envy. I could not begin to catalogue the rest of the emotions I was experiencing. Part of me...the part that broke protocol in San Francisco...the part that remains here...wishes to continue the experiment. But the other part...the logical, practical, realistic part...remembers the chaos that was Tolaris' mind.

Impatience...desire...anger...lust...violence. Are these dark emotions the price one pays to experience pleasure and joy? Can one learn to experience the positive while suppressing the negative? As I meditate, I am reminded of Tolaris' words, and wonder.


	19. Wraiths (1.18 "Rogue Planet")

Such a fascinating planet, yet we spent our time there dealing with the barbaric hunters, and chasing after phantoms. I suppose I should have believed the captain when he said that he had seen the woman, but in all honesty, I truly thought he was hallucinating. After all, there was nothing to support her appearance, and his description sounded like something from a dream.

Of course, my sarcasm was uncalled for. Had any of the others heard me, they probably would have accused me of jealousy, which of course, I'm not susceptible to. Regardless, I am pleased we could help.


	20. Un-Acquired (1.19 "Acquisition")

Vulcans are not renowned for their play-acting ability, so I was dubious when Tucker laid out his plan. I believe the intruders ineptitude had as much to do with our success as anything, although I think my ability to dissemble has improved in recent months.

As for the captain, he certainly owes me one for what he said about me. Would he have said it if he had known I was awake? I would like to think not. Intellectually, I know his words were spoken to discourage my would-be captor, but they bothered me, nonetheless. Illogical. Meditation is in order.


	21. To Create A Life (1.20 "Oasis")

Ghosts...Apparitions...The things of superstition, meant to frighten children and the weak-minded. I knew before arriving that there would be a logical explanation, Commander Tucker's taunting would not sway me.

I was right. However, even I did not suspect the use of holography, or the reason behind its use.

I believe Tucker should have suspected something, considering his previous experience with the Xyrillian, but he was somewhat preoccupied by Liana. Understandable, considering the circumstances.

What a unique life she must have had. To know nobody but her father, and the holographic recreations of a crew she barely knew. Fascinating.


	22. Conflicted Convictions (1.21 "Detained")

I spoke to the captain after he returned. He is conflicted...not over helping the Suliban escape, but over their eventual fate. After hearing about the conditions in the detention camp, I have no doubt that the Suliban are better off on their own. But I, too, wonder if they will be able to survive alone, or if the Cabal will, as Grat feared, hunt them down, and either kill them or make soldiers of them.

I share the captain's concern, and will urge him to contact the Vulcans. Otherwise, Tandaran/Human relations could forever be strained...especially regarding the Suliban.


	23. Duae Mentes ["Two Minds"] (1.22 "Vox Sola")

Hoshi is a remarkable woman. Her abilities and accomplishments, where communications are concerned, are exceptional, especially considering the difficulties inherent when meeting new species for the first time.

Needless to say, I had no idea that she found my scrutiny of her work to be a sign of my lack of confidence in her abilities. Just the opposite...I am fascinated by her.

She has come a long way, yet had she not overcome her reluctance to ask for my help, I fear we would not have solved the communications problem in time to save the Captain and the others.


	24. Fall And Rise Of Heroes (1.23 "Fallen Hero")

I told the captain that Vulcans don't have heroes. My statement was not entirely true. Although I would not call V'Lar a 'hero' in the human sense, her accomplishments provided a goal for me to aspire to.

She was not exactly what I expected.

She was correct when she said I was disappointed in her, yet I could not truly accept her guilt. As it turned out, the accusations were a ruse to get her off-planet.

My relief upon hearing this revelation was unexpected, as was the gratitude I felt when the captain agreed to help V'Lar, despite the danger.


	25. Repercussions (1.24 "Desert Crossing")

Vulcans have a policy of 'noninterference' when it comes to alien cultures...a wise precaution. However, I've noticed there are times when one may find oneself in the middle of a conflict before it is apparent that there *is* a conflict. A difficult position to find oneself in.

Once again, the captain's 'humanitarian aide' nearly resulted in his death. I've warned him there could be repercussions to his actions. Oddly enough, had he not assisted the Suliban, Zobral would never have lured him to the planet in an effort to enlist his aide in their fight for freedom. How ironic.


	26. Return From Risa (1.25 "Two Days And Two Nights)

The crew has returned from Risa, however, I would hardly say they were rested. That is, all except for Hoshi...she apparently took full advantage of her two days and two nights.

Mister Mayweather is recovering, and the doctor has resumed his hibernation. Misters Tucker and Reed have been extremely closed-mouthed about their vacation. Needless to say, their state of 'undress' was no doubt *not* due to the recreational activities they had planned.

Then there's the captain. I do not know what happened, but he is far from relaxed...his sexual tension is still high. Another solution must be found.


	27. Aftershock (1.26 "Shockwave 1")

The fluctuating emotions and mood swings were difficult for me to deal with, yet the doctor assured me they were normal human behavior for the situation. As difficult as it was, I did my best to 'cheer him up' as he called it. I reminded myself how he urged me to fight for what was 'right' only a few months ago...it was the least I could do to do the same for him.

But his assertions that he 'traveled through time'...this I do not believe I can accept.

But yet, how else do we account for his disappearance?


End file.
